I'm back...but just for a second.
Here's some facts and my silly responses. Hope you enjoy:
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma
Then why don’t they have “coconut liquid” drives where they stick needles into the coconuts and tell them silly stories to make them less nervous as their life-juice flows from their body into a bag next to them?
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
You think that’s hard? Try folding the bottom bed sheet into a nice little square to put in your linen closet. It’s enough to drive a good man to cursing, I tell ‘ya.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
Maybe those folks on donkeys ought to start taking planes to work.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
That’s because the Victoria’s Secret show is looped and runs without commercials in my dreams (I’m just kidding!!! I love my wife and would have made that same joke if she were sitting here!)
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
Men do not drool while awake until they are 50 years of age or older…coincidence?
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
Oddly enough the last product to NOT have a bar code was the pack of Wrigley’s gum produced right before the first pack WITH the bar code. A paradigm shift, I know.
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
It’s also the only king missing something else; but, fortunately, the cards only show a waist-up view of the kings.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Next year they will save $400,000,000 by eliminating all their seats, planes, pilots, crew, baggage stuff, etc. But will make $10,000 in the fire sale (bankruptcy sucks, eh?)
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
They should be better about being on time?!?
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Yeah, but Suzy, the hot secretary doesn’t spend 15 minutes at the apple table every morning trying to decide between French Vanilla apples and Dark Roast Colombian apples. Besides, it’s really tough to sip apples through that little hole in the top of the to-go cup.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
And this is important because…?????
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."
Oh yeah?!? Well, Santa and Satan have the same letters in their names, they both wear red, and you never see them together. So there!
Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
Another little known fact: most music listeners are afraid of Cher.
PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!
Dang it! “Mildred, go get the pearls, quick! We’ll have to find another good place to hide’em!”
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
Wow. I bet the tree-huggin’, plant eatin’, goody-two shoes folks hate to hear that.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.
So, I guess we better make sure the water is upstairs, not down…no wait, that’s horses right? And you can’t make the stupid things drink anyway!
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Fortunately, NO ONE CARES!!!!!
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush
be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles
resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
Or, you can just stop flushing.
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
What’s more amazing is how many humans are able to talk out of theirs.
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